Magic Mushrooms

… is as good as downing a whole pack of Skittles

One minute it makes you feel as light as a feather, and the next thing you know, you are sinking like a bar of gold.

Makes wonder where my goat had gone. Johnny must have gone on a long holiday with Peter and Alexander. Back packing through Europe perhaps?

Jason was planning for a launch in his little space shuttle while I watched the black & white TV. Laughing to a cooking show and cried when it’s time for bed. No signs of unicorn. Nope.

Bright lights, dimmed lights, and big polka dots. They somewhat disappeared when I start talking to Kimora and Pink.

My hands are really sore from all the clapping. 2 days of clapping. Don’t blame me, I can’t control them.

Was fun while it lasted.

 

More than just running

… it’s how I train myself to be mentally stronger and positive.

I started running less than a year ago. Not really into running marathons, but just simply jogging from point A to point B.

It’s even better running on a cold winter morning, when your body really beg you to just shut down and head to bed. That’s when the mental war really start.

How did it start?

I ran my first marathon with one of my bestie, Steph in 2010. Not sure where she got the idea but she asked me if I would join her for a 5K run organized by Nike. I have never been a fan of running but I thought to myself, what the heck, why not? That run felt like forever. But with much support by Steph, we managed to finish the race, together. She slowed down for me a couple of times during the run. Not only it pushes me to go further but I know even more that she is someone I will not let go. Steph, if you are reading this, just want you to know you are precious :)

A sense of achievement

Not long after the Nike 5K marathon, my grandma passed away and I decided to take a gap year and then left for Australia. It’s hard to be homesick and even harder when you are alone so far away from your family. Have turn to running as a distraction.
When I was away, I could not afford a gym membership and I was seriously gaining weight. I took my very first step out the door that winter morning, and started jogging. It was almost year since the Nike run.
As I run each day, I tried to run a little further than the day before. Before I know it, I am running 10-15K.

When I run, I often take this time to think about things, mostly life.

Many have asked me why I started running, is it to keep fit and lose weight? That’s one of the reason but not the main reason.

To be very honest, I love the sense of accomplishment when I pass the finishing line at the end of the race. Timing is the least of my concern. It feels great to end what you have started, because along the way it might be rocky, lots of uphill climbs, and cramps. Same goes to what life have to offer. I told myself if I could pull through all that, I will be a better and stronger person. When you psych yourself so often, slowly it becomes a natural thing. And this is where I slowly gain more mental strength and becomes a much positive person. Not sure what other people perceive me as, but I know one person that could tell the world how negative of a person I once was. My fiance.

The little voice in you

Don’t matter running short / long distance, there will come to a point where you will start having little voices in you head talking and distracting you. I have tried my very best to ignore all the negative remarks and only take in the ones that benefit me. This voice will usually come when you are feeling dehydrated, tired and warm. The little voice have asked me to quit, and to just give up countless times. In circumstances like this, you have to stand strong, and remind yourself why you signed yourself up at the first place. That is to finish the race that you have started.

What keeps me going

I am at my prime, need to stay in best of shape and health. Then I would have more energy and stamina to take what life throws at me. And that being said, would definitely believe I could achieve more.

My god mother is super awesome. She kicks my butt when I slack and she motivates me all the time and run with me in almost all of the races. She is 51 this year and boy is she fit! Always on the top of the charts. (Kai Ma, if you are reading this, THANK YOU for being such an inspiration to me).

Besides that, I made so many friends through running. They all share this very same passion and they never stop sharing their words of encouragement. This is what keeps me going. And I hope by sharing my experience I could inspire some to start picking up running.

Now that I am back in Malaysia, since May  2012, I started signing up for marathons all around the city. I am surprised to find that are so many organizers out there that organize these marathons.Well, as for my short term goal, I would love to collect 10 medals by the end of 2012. And participate in a half marathon next year.

I sincerely hold on to these words, THE BODY ACHIEVES, WHAT THE MIND BELIEVES. It’s all in the head.

— Michelle

 

Wrapping up 2011

It’s been a roller coaster ride for me. Been away from home for way too long, went on an exciting journey without knowing whats next. I have done things I would never imagined myself to be doing. Missing Christmas, and soon CNY. Lost some one, found new friends and definitely slowly accepting the fact that Mahmah is no longer with us.

Going to spend my new year’s eve in Melbourne. Wish I could share this with everyone back home.  Wish they were here.

So much joy and laughter, tears and pain. Just so blessed to have been alive everyday. Good bye 2011 and HELLO 2012. Hope it’s gonna be a better year for all of us. Party hard and stay safe people.

 

xoxo,

Michelle

19.10.11

I don’t know where to start. The state I am in right now seems surreal. I am in so much of a mixed feeling. Feels like a pair of old pink jeans in a washing machine. Tumbling all around, with pennies and other remains falling out of it’s pocket. A good mixture of happiness and sadness.

I have been ”stranded” in Australia for the 8 months now. Baby jas0n just visited, but left for home. I miss him so much. Well, I have no regrets though, because when he was here we did so much together. Not a second wasted.

Something happened while he visited. Not sure how I’d announce this on my own personal blog (probably it’s just for my own keep sake, because no one read blogs anymore :P), but I have to say that Jason proposed.

It has been a good 6 years. Did not even feel like it was that long, maybe because there are so much to learn about each other. Makes everyday so interesting. Dare not say I have been through everything with Jason, or done every single thing with him, but we definitely have grew and learn from one another over the years that we have been together. He is someone I definitely, 99% low fat, super duper truly, without doubt and would love to start a family, experience life and grow old with.

Baby, if you are reading this, I just want to say that I know that this is not easy, especially I am not back at home. I hope everything will fall back into place when I get back. We will have so much fun planning for our big day and our whole life ahead of us. I promise.

I apologize if I ever told you that I might not want our big day to happen so soon. I just want us to take our time to plan this properly. We will enjoy the planning process. I just know it :)

And baby if you are wondering I DID NOT see that coming. I take my hats off to you. You are still the same Jason I know in Alpha, boy (now man) who have many tricks up his sleeves (and not to forget you and your creative juice *wink*). I am very shocked still :E

Proposal at Wineglass Bay, Tasmania

This post is dedicated to my dearest, baby Jason.

unwanted

One of the feeling i fear most is feeling unwanted. it sucked just as bad as if i have lost someone dear to me.

Had a weird ass dream last night. dream that daddy got a new baby girl and he bought a 10 bedroom house in Melbourne.

Guess he doesn’t want me in the dream and want to move out. I dislike both the baby girl and the house in Melboune. grr >:E

… but after SMS-ing daddy, I felt all warm and happy inside, because i love the feeling of assurance :)

Same bench, different feelings

I am sitting at the bench where I use to sit a year ago, while waiting for daddy to get off work. Accept that, almost a year ago, I was crying but now I am smiling from ear to ear.

I use to hate my previous job so badly that I was all down and depressed but not this job. I love every single bit of it. I have to admit that there are hiccups here and there, but that is how a normal working environment should be like.

My current employer, Ben, is very appreciative and have been rather supportive on my decision. I’m glad that I try out for this job and I really owe it to Jason and also my family for encouraging me to take up this job. It was a challenge as I never done UI design before and right now I am happier than ever!

I say it is very rare that one can find a job that he or she enjoys doing. This experience has been great. But, I have to move on, and try other things. Well let’s hope that I will get to do what I love in future :)

For now.. Australia here I come!

My New Year’s Resolution

It’s a brand new year and yes, time to conveniently forget/misplace your previous year’s resolution. You tell yourself it’s time to jot down a new set of new year’s resolution, and this time stick with it. I know what most of you will have on your top ten things to do. To lose weight.

Hmph, I won’t even bother including it in my 2011 new year resolution. It’s pretty impossible for me to actually eat less (heh, I’m not saying that I eat like a pig either) and lose the weight that I think I will gain from it, because heck, I am living in Malaysia. Festive after festive, there’s always another big occasion. My year (or at least this year according to what i foresee) usually/will goes like this:-

January – New Year’s Day dinner with the family, family going to Penang! I cannot resist all the Penang hawker food and all the Nasi Kandar

February – Chinese New Year! (nom nom real food and junk food, dinner with family, and boyfriend’s family, house visiting and more house visiting)

March -Usual by monthly trip to Thailand

April – My birthday! There will definitely be dinner with family and makan makan session with friends

May – There’s Labour Day. Whenever there’s a public holiday, I will hang out with some friends at a mall or go on a road trip with my family, and then again, eat

June – It’s daddy’s birthday, what more it’s also father’s day. CAKES CAKES CAKES!!

July –  Thailand again and some small lil trips here and there with bestfriends

August – Mom’s birthday, Merdeka Day, Hari Raya (mmm, rendang!) and a whole bunch of  other public holidays

September – Malaysia Day, another road trip and excuse of food hunting

October – Baby’s birthday :) Nice dinner..

November – Deepavali (not nice to visit friend’s place but not eat).. OMG suddenly thought of Indian Kitchen *drools*

December – My family usual trip to Penang. How can one be in Penang and on a diet? And there’s CHRISTMAS DAY! The usual Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas lunch and dinner and.. New Year’s Eve dinner

See, all planned out. Either it’s a festive season or it’s someone’s birthday or a vacation. This year I am clear of what is the top of my list. EXERCISE! That’s right. Instead of eating less and getting all sad and food deprived (warning:may cause depression), I’d rather get my butt up and start working out. To be honest, I have been hitting the gym frequently in 2010, but I will make sure this year will be even better.

Have a sweet & sweaty 2011. Happy New Year :)

One door closed, another opens

I have officially quit my job. I guess I haven’t been blogging much about it.

Well long story cut short, I took up a job at an agency in KL Sentral. Convenient location, great environment, cool bosses, awesome colleagues and very well paid, but I decided to take a step out of my comfort zone.

I know this is ridiculous, but something tells me that opportunity is coming and something big is awaiting. I have not got a job yet i quit my current job. must be disappointing for daddy… but I just have this feeling, I belong somewhere else and I will be happier then.

Well, don’t want to waste a beautiful Monday morning like this.

I hope today will be a progressive day.